A motely mix

Initially: Make good use of office facilities this evening by visiting youtube and asking, when offered a drink, for a big cup o’ Borat

Speaking of Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat on Borat...

Consequently: Every Thursday night, I sit perched at this desk in this cold and lonely office, wretched and bereft, and I dream. I dream of freedom. I dream of rock n roll.
I dream, particularly, of bum rushing the stage at Steak Out during Rock Night with a silver Stratocaster and ripping into eighteen minutes of Hey Joe. I’ll need a band to do that, though. Who’s with me?

My bass guitarist says Hey Joe will not go down too well, cos a lot of yuppies have never heard it. He says we should try something more contemporary, like Linkin Park.

I told him that if he doesn’t want to split up over creative differences before our first performance he should never repeat those words again. We compromised. We shall be performing a big stadium-sized rendition of Blaze of Glory.

Now we need a drummer, another guitarist, a percussionist and roadies. No Project Fame rejects.


Finally: Jack Mataachi is one of the most phenomenal writers in this region today. He is not just brilliant, this guy is … he is incandescent. I may not have any credibility as a critic left after admitting to having enjoyed Tindatiine for a while, but trust me, I know books and I have only read one other Ugandan who even comes close to his level.

Comments

Cheri said…
Can I join the band?

That Nigerian in the profile pic has made my sullen day brighter!
Cheri said…
By the way, bigenda bitya???
Savage said…
I am good at air-guitar.
Kenyanchick said…
First of all, Mataachi rules. Amen.

Baz, of course I'll be your roadie, humming along to all the red-neck tunes that you pretend not to know. I'm good with "rock and roll" hand gestures, body slamming and I do a mean dancing-while-tossing-my-braids thing.

Sing snowflake, sing.
Iwaya said…
Doesn't Stephen King belong in a band too?
Iwaya said…
yeah, stephen king the writer dude!
Savage said…
You would be amazed how many people have a secret desire to be rockers.
Once I went to see Jada Pinkett Smith's band perform.

Then I once had a gig as a security guard at an apartment complex, but my job was really to first to warn, then later to call cops on people who were bent on strumming and rocking out all night in the apartments. And believe about 80% of the residents had day jobs, but were rockers by night.
Baz said…
Cherie what do you mean the Nigerian in the picture? I am a Ugandan!

Iwaya, that is The Rock Bottom Remainders. Also features Dave Barry and Amy Tan. I told you I am full of useless knowlege.

So, this band has Cherie on Gwen Stefani-like lead vocals, Savage on Air Guitar (with tatoos and dreads, I think. You need to make up for the fact that you are not making actual music) KC as manager and security.

Steak Out won't know what hit 'em!
Amen and amen on Jack. Dude rules, for sure.
Anonymous said…
a Band you say. I will not allow such a weapon of Mass Distraction. God Bless America, ya heard?
Iwaya said…
And when are you going to let the people know that you have become a published author, with a book and your name at the front and everything?
Anonymous said…
Cherie. I agree. We have a Nigerian here. That pic. Someone once said he has a degree in journalism or sthing to that effect.

He is the actor - midget actor. ooops. Enough said.
Kenyanchick said…
Seconding Mataachi: where are our free, limited-edition, signed by the author copies?
Baz said…
ariaka, that is a portrait of the artist as a young man.

Mataachi and KC, lemme get started on that bit of business. In our next post...
Savage said…
so like when the artist was a young man, there were color pictures and everything?
Savage said…
I watched a bootleg copy of "The last king of Scotland" -movie was in limited release so it didn't come around in many places besides NYC& L.A- And I noticed that somehow Amin had a baseball bat in his bedroom in the 70s.