Too easy

It is way too easy to go and sound gay. I am not just talking about when a male person uses the word "fuschia" in a sentence. And reveals that he actually knows what it means.

(For the record, I wasn’t even sure how to spell it, okay?)

Now, I happen to know a few stellar constellations. Constellations as in those star groups with names. I know a lot of useless things and constellations is one of them. I don’t think I can offer a valid excuse or reason why. I was bored and young and stupid. Instead of using my time constructively I went and learnt where Taurus is in the sky.

I mentioned this to a friend of mine once, innocently and in passing, as one does. He mulled over it for a second then, evidently thinking “This shit might impress chicks” he asked me to show him some.

Actually, he is a born again Christian, so his thoughts might have been more like, “This s**t might impress chicks”, but he asked me to teach him a couple of constellations and I did. I showed him Orion, Canis Major, Scorpio and The Pleiades. The exhibition was carried out in a stoically macho way, with no sentiment whatsoever. All I did was grunt and point. “That one is Orion, that one is Scorpio etc”.

The very next day, when this chap and I met in a populated area where there were very many people with ears, out of the blue, and with no provocation at all, he blurted out, “Baz, we should go and look at the stars again tonight.”

He leater explained that he just wanted to make sure the diagrams he had drawn in preparation for his chick-impressing activities were accurate. But I still had to spend the next few weeks fending off mean jokes and cruel cajolings.

Such as those you are thinking of right this minute.

Comments

okay,all ignorance exposed,what in the world is fuschia? can't say or spell it. but I can copy and paste it.(evidently)
I can predict the look on my face if someone ever interrupts my breezy evening with astrology101. 'and now my dear,thats taurus.'
Iwaya said…
did u show him Venus too?
Saadiq said…
how about pluto..mars...jupiter..uranus...get it ur-anus
Baz said…
Degstar, mataachi and Joshi: mean and cruel cajolings. So predictable.

Scotchbiscuits, I refuse to find out what it is. Knowing stars is hazardous enough.
Minty said…
I'll help. Fuchsia (check that spelling) is a flower and sometimes even a bright red colour. *stickler blush*

Ok. How come it's funky for girls to know a lot about guy stuff, but geeky the other way round?
Saadiq said…
@minty...it's geeky if u know alot about stuff...and it's not geeky if a guy knows alot about gal stuff...NOT GEEKY!!!!
Jay said…
I once raised eyebrows for telling somebody that a certain shirt wasnt actually purple but Lavender.

Some things guys arenot supposed to know.
Minty said…
@Joshi, how come nothing happens when I say 'lavender' and Jay gets the eyes?
@Jay, hahaha. Where did you learn such things?
Anonymous said…
Its not Geeky,its like,you know, GAY and,whatever.
Cheri said…
@jay...to guys...purple is purple, not lavender,not lilac, not violet!
cream is cream, not beige, not butterscotch, not pale, not creamish!
brown is brown..not woody, not teak, not marigold not golden rod!
red is red..not crismon, not scarlet, no maroon, not coral!
blue is blue..not turquoise, not aqua, not electric, not cyan,

so if u start saying " honey, pls iron my aquamarine shirt for me. the one with spring green flowers and salmon red fish." don't say we didn't warn u!

@Minty...we are so lucky we can get away with all this trash!
Kenyanchick said…
But Bath, you're tho thenthitive!

Is that Orion in your belt or are you just... oh, never mind.
Juju said…
@ Ernest, I live in the US, and I find that African and European men, even when not gay, tend to be more "gay" than the all American boys-- from their dressing to their expressions. Its actually cute until they realise that oops they sound sooo gay... hahahaha... .
Anonymous said…
Baz, What was this Born Again bratha doing learning about stars?? He shud huk up with mamsitas in Church, and we all know that Church happens during the day, on sunday......unless....unless he was going for a kesha and was planning to skyve the main event!!!

Sly Bratha!!
Baz said…
Minty, that is just because you swallowed a dictinary whole when you were twelve.

Easter Bunny, you shouldn't call people gay. You will hurt their feelings.

@Cherie, if dude knows those colours, he will probably do a better job with the ironing, so give him your blouses and skirts instead.

@ Queen of Comments, you are beyond cruel.

Jaribu, The real Christians boys are praying, not checking out babes so the guys who be scooping up sistren in church are all sinners..

@ Majonzi, I was told that the coasts of the US are the gayest places on earth. If you drop your wallet in New York, leave it on the ground or someone will come up and bum you. Then I watched Rent and it was all confirmed.
ish said…
1. i think the real thing to be pondered here cherie, is why someone would have an aquamarine shirt with spring green flowers and salmon red fish!

2. and majonzi and baz, no straight guys are as gay as indian fellows. they dont just hold hands in public, they like touch each other and stuff! if i was a guy here, i would be in fights everyday or maybe invest in a tshirt that said "hands off!" or something like that...
Juju said…
@goddess.. ha, wait till u c Somali men... it doesnt help either that they are all so segregated... they dont hang out with their women, so transfer all their affections to each other :). To be honest, I love a man who is confident about his sexuality, and can not only compliment another cute guy, but can also hold hands with his friends... (wink, wink)
Juju said…
oh @baz.. I live in Minneapolis, #3 most gay city in the US, so I know.... Lake Calhoun, Uptown and Downtown Mpls... the works..... . Most of them are not ur typical gaylooking jamaas, not only that but some of them are bi... so dating in Mpls is very very hard for st8 peeps.
Saadiq said…
Minneapolis...isnt that where savage is?????
Juju said…
hehehehe, Savage Minnesota?
Savage said…
Like hell yeah!
Minty said…
@goddess, those gay-looking Indian 'boys' have invaded Kampala too.

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