A break from our regularly scheduled programming for this word from our sponsor

High-quality stage names for upcoming local artistes at very good prices. You cannot, as they say when they don’t know the difference between a transitive verb and its intransitive cousin, afford to miss!

Dreddy Mac
@ Sh320,000
Perfect for ragga dancehall performers with eccentric hair who wish to use the Rastafarian religion to gain some appearance of spiritual depth even though all they do is smoke weed and sing about getting laid. For an extra sh50,000 we’ll throw in the title MC.

Stone P
@ Sh 220,000
For singers who wish to work with tribal songs fused with modern styles. Good for people with provincial roots. If you are from the east, you can claim that the name alludes to the Tororo rock. Or if you are from Jinja you can say the name alludes to the word Jinja translated into English. Works wherever you are from. (Allusions @ sh20,000)

Jam Dizz
Sh70,000
For the one hit wonder or curtain raiser who chants barely-decipherable non-rhyming party clichés over karaoke beats

Bustaman
Sh70,000
Are you a flunky, buttkissing henchman clinger-on? This is the name for you.

Come one come all to your one stop shopping thing for all your slogan needs. UBS-approved.

Comments

Hey Baz! Yata really, really unplugged u!! U were laughin alot -were her eyes that funny?
And seriosly, did u want to be like Andrew Mwenda or was it another of yo 'Bad Idea'? Man, bring it on -i mean that book u writin & be sure i'll buy a copy.
Don't give away stone P yet. I'm putting my credit card info together.
Savage said…
Baz, you should refrain from saying unflattering things about Jinja. I read that issue of Bad idea. That is my hometown bro.
Minty said…
I'm still getting permission for the dreadlocks, but reduce ko the price for Dreddy Mac and we'll do business.
Darlkom said…
You exorbitant thief. I have it on good authority that those names, and better, can be got for much cheaper prices. If y'all talk to me nice, I will cut you in.
Kenyanchick said…
For obvious reasons, I'm going with Busta-man (but you got the definition wrong).

Actually Busta-Baz ain't bad either. That's because, unlike some people you know, I only use intransigent verbs.
Carlo said…
please find more feminine names and at much cheaper prices and i'll be in. wait, can you do dancers' names too? cuz i can't sing so i'll do the next best thing. and i DO NOT want to be an angel so work your magic baby.
Baz said…
@Countryboy: The important thing is that I was in the ladies' washroom at the station. There is a bathtub and a box of condoms there. We must find out if all ladies' rooms are was thoroughly equipped.

@Scotchbiscuits my dear, for you the allusion is on the house.

@Savage, munna, that Jinja thing was meant as a compliment.

@Minty, you should be a critic, not a performer. You belong with us, not with them.

@Dee, how do you advertise your mudaala in front of my mudaala? Okay, bygones.

@KC, It occured to me after I picked myself off the floor that The Intransigent Verbs WBAGNFRB, eh?

@Carlo: You don't need a stage name. I see you as a lead singer with Pips. Carlo and The Pips. Not LaShwanda, God fobid.

Degstar, yeah, I was Unplugged. Then the next week it was Zizinga.