There's a darkness on the edge...

I support gay rights. The state should not withhold a person’s rights just because the state does not like who that person is sleeping with. Gay people should be free to do every single legal thing a straight person can do. Including forming a legally-recognised matrimonial union. If I was pushed into a fight between those who want to legalise homosexuality and those who want homosexuality punished by law, I would take the side of the gays. I would have to be pushed into it, though. Cos I believe in freedom, I believe in justice and I believe in common decency. But I still have a problem with homosexuality.

It’s not what you think. Stay with me.

The following:There is this scene in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back where Jay and Bob need a disguise to sneak past some policemen with their orangutan. Jay hatches the clever plan of pretending that he and Silent Bob are gay life partners and that the ape is their adopted child. They threaten the police, saying: “We're gay! And this is our adopted love child! We're not from around here! Don't make us go back to our liberal city home with a tales of prejudice and bigotry in the heart of Utah!”Will Ferrel, the cop, answers: “Sir— or ma'am. Please accept my apologies for detaining you and your unorthodox but constitutionally-protected family unit.”
Then he turns to the other cops and says, “I just avoided a political fiasco by letting this butt-fucking Brady Bunch go.”

I found that screamingly funny.

I also wrote The Buggery Song.

I hate Puff Daddy’s music and public persona. So I call him a faggot. The use of the word gay to denote the opposite of cool generally amuses me.

So the first problem is that the most common treatment I give the subject of homosexuality is laughter. It amuses me. I am sure homosexual people are not pleased by the fact that their lifestyle is a source of humour for people like me, but I am not guilty about that. They don’t need my admiration, and besides, there are aspects about my lifestyle that others find funny. I have no fashion sense, I live in Kireka, I wear glasses etc. No one has a right not to be laughed at.
I always thought that, though I would laugh at the episode where Cartman is trying to train his dog to be straight, if I was told that my bank manager was a homosexual I would look at the person telling me this and say, “His orientation is no business of mine. As long as he is literate.”

I always thought this attitude was essentially harmless. But then something else happened.

There is this guy in Kampala town: he is a fashion designer. He wears women’s blouses and paints his nails. He has a flamboyant hairstyle and strong perfume. He is a big dude. Hefty. Broad shoulders.

Most famous flamer in town.

Like I said, he is a fashion designer. He had a fashion-related deal with one of the photographers at the newspaper where I work and came to the office about that. I wasn’t in at the time, so my seat, which is close to the photographer’s, was empty.

The photographer gave him my seat. When I walked into work, I found him on my seat.

I got a less comfy chair and sat on that. This photographer—let’s not give him too much credit— does not know that you are supposed to say “excuse me” and find a way to replace the chair you have stolen. Prick. Anyway…

After the fashion designer had gone, and my chair was free, I honestly should have retrieved it and sat on it but I didn’t. I exchanged it with the chair at the desk of another colleague who wasn’t there. It wasn’t the warm chair thing. I don’t like to sit on chairs other people have made warm, but I know it wasn’t just that. I just did not want to sit on the chair that guy had been on.

If you understand my feeling then what kind of bastards are we? I mean, what sort of person does this to another person? Refuses to sit on a chair just because that other guy was on it? Supporters of apartheid and Jim Crow laws: That sort of person. This is not just you-are-a-human-being-like-me-but-some-things-you-do-are-funny. This is manifest bigotry. And it is in me. Like an instinct. Like reflex. My name is Baz and I am a homophobe. Have I betrayed my ideals?
What the hell kind of person am I?

Comments

Ah! A bredren!

I had the absolute horror of sitting within arm's length of one, on Monday night. Now, I have always known I am a homophobe. But for me to fail to drink my soda, because a broad-shouldered homo was seated close by ... that was crude.

And I don't believe in that. It's not the Communism thing. It's just that I think homos are only as bad as people who tell white lies or even get to work late. We are all evil. So, my reaction was squarely anti-me. But, hey! Kill 'em all!

But I betrayed my ideals, all the same.

P.S.: Do we all hate warmed chairs?
P.S Reloaded: I have this in my bookmarks: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Discrimination

Hmmm ...
Anonymous said…
Gays Nah you realize if this is accepted in our community there is no way we are going to escape GOd's wrath for disobeying him and wat he has made man and woman for
@ 27th since yo firstie i am secondie
Minzo said…
Very good post Baz.
Anonymous said…
a very smooth read! and a very funny one! it must be in 'airforce wives' that i read that some men are "born gay and horny." but even those cannot be excused. legalising homosexuality would, to me, appear like legalising sex between man and goat! the purpose for which women were created would lose meaning. most recently i heard a very defiant indian on BBC; he was disappointed in kenyan authorities for denying his gay people freedom of 'operation.' he ended with a passionate message to gay mortals across africa to take heart because they had a brother in india who loved them dearly. i found that very amusing!
Anonymous said…
your reaction was absolutely human.
Kenyanchick said…
@CB: Tell me more about "the purpose for which women were created."

That's something I can barely wait to hear.
Anonymous said…
I live in kireka and i wear glasses i have no apologies to give...ha ha ha.

For the gays i say i have no problem with them as long as they stay away from my son...Any parents worst nightmare is finding out your son is GAY. So do i have a problem with gays? Hell YES i do.

I like to snuggle up to my man... i like the look in his eyes that says he's enjoying the same. I hate to imagine he would enjoy doing that with another man!

Theres a reason why God didnt make us four legged like all animals....
Minzo said…
Yes countryboy, just what exactly were women created for? Like Kenyan chick, I'm quite curious to know....
Anonymous said…
There are a couple of verses in the bible that say homosexuality is a sin. But there are by far a lot more that says homophobia is worse. Jesus never rebuked homos. But he spoke at length on the subject of kindness and understanding. He told us to be meek, and kind and compassionate and loving. He told us not to judge. He told us not to be the aggressors, but to meet aggression with forgiveness.

Even if God called it a sin, He agrees with me on this: we should not treat gay people the way we do. It is wrong.

Fi says homophobia is human and if it is, it is from the worst part of being human: the instincts to be cruel. But the divine compels us to rise above these instincts. Besides when you consider the emotions that give rise to homophobia: fear, vanity, self-righteousness, spite and meanness, are you sure God wants us to indulge them?

Be Silent, don’t worry about homos. We lie, we cheat, we steal, we kill. Society is already rotten and evil. The wrath of God is long overdue. He isn’t being held back because that at least most of us are fornicating in the “correct” way.

Anonymous, animals are not as wicked as humans.

CB, can you imagine if all sins were illegal? Would you be out of jail?

Anyway, I submit that homophobia is sinful and that even if God does not want people to practice homosexuality, he certainly does not want us to practice homophobia either.
Anonymous said…
I completely understand your sentiment, Baz. The same thing happens to me, except with white people. (I've come to accept- most of the time, anyway- gay people.)

I can stand here and tell you that racism is wrong, for a number of obvious reasons. And yet I am so conscious when i sit next to a white person on a bus. Or when I see an interracial couple. Funny thing is, recently I was dating someone who is mixed race (or as we say in Uganda, point-5).

I think it's jusy hypocrisy. Either we stand by our ideals and have them manifest in our actions, or we abandon them.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Saadiq said…
Baz when u look in the mirror..look deep behind the geeky specs and realise the superman underneath
Anonymous said…
Anonymous: Abandon them? We don't abandon them, we fight for them.

Joshi, funny you should say that...

And Countryboyi!!!
Heaven! said…
the emotions that give rise to homophobia? Baz, you forgot to add disgust!!
vanity, selfrighteousness, blah, blah, blah, but also utter disgust.
and unlike you, i won't apologise for the way i feel!
ish said…
i don't get why homosexuals are always victimizing themselves. no one's out to get them.

anyway, i have nothin against them and all, but the way i see it, it's like smoking. some people do it and some people don't, and those who don't, don't always wanna be around those who do.
Anonymous said…
goddes, they are victimised. You get thrown in jail for it and people don't want to sit on the same chair as you.

Anyway... on to the next item on the agenda. I have to post about toilets.