Matters of The Heart
You know what we need? We need toilet waiters. Like as a job, you have a person whose responsibility it is to welcome customers to the toilet and make them comfortable.
“Good afternoon, sir. Welcome to the toilet. I am your host, Makumbi, and if there is anything I can do to make your visit more comfortable, please do not hesitate to ask.”
He will bring you your tissue paper, spray air freshener, hum relaxing tunes and even compliment you when you are through. “May I say, sir, that that is a remarkable specimen!”
It would slash our unemployment problem considerably. I can see mothers bragging in their scripture union meetings. “Makumbi is doing very well in Kampala. After he left Makerere he became a toilet waiter. And not just any toilet waiter, he is a waiter at the five star Serena hotel!”
No consider it. The pay would be good, after all, it is the Serena. You would be doing better than a schoolteacher.
...and now lemme hit you with that link fire:
Firstof all, the blogosphere presents this guy who is so funny he should be Ugandan.
Normally when I link to a Vision article it is to invite you to laugh and cast mockery upon it. But this time, I give you one of the things about the media in Uganda.
Okay. The Vision has not uploaded it to their website. As soon as I can, I will link it. In the meantime, if you pass by while I am at home asleep, go to Sundayvision.co.ug, hit "Kawa" on the menu there, and read read with delight, any article with a headline about the sanctity of the toilet. Okay? Okay. I'm Morpheus in this matrix, exposing fake shit.
“Good afternoon, sir. Welcome to the toilet. I am your host, Makumbi, and if there is anything I can do to make your visit more comfortable, please do not hesitate to ask.”
He will bring you your tissue paper, spray air freshener, hum relaxing tunes and even compliment you when you are through. “May I say, sir, that that is a remarkable specimen!”
It would slash our unemployment problem considerably. I can see mothers bragging in their scripture union meetings. “Makumbi is doing very well in Kampala. After he left Makerere he became a toilet waiter. And not just any toilet waiter, he is a waiter at the five star Serena hotel!”
No consider it. The pay would be good, after all, it is the Serena. You would be doing better than a schoolteacher.
...and now lemme hit you with that link fire:
Firstof all, the blogosphere presents this guy who is so funny he should be Ugandan.
Normally when I link to a Vision article it is to invite you to laugh and cast mockery upon it. But this time, I give you one of the things about the media in Uganda.
Okay. The Vision has not uploaded it to their website. As soon as I can, I will link it. In the meantime, if you pass by while I am at home asleep, go to Sundayvision.co.ug, hit "Kawa" on the menu there, and read read with delight, any article with a headline about the sanctity of the toilet. Okay? Okay. I'm Morpheus in this matrix, exposing fake shit.
Comments
Kati, mimi na sooma post yiyi.
I couldn't resist.
U could have come up with something like Kasaato. Kakeeto. Kakonge...etc
*thought to self* i must be the only one checking blogs at this time
And i have read Johnny Virgil's thing ... something dangerous in your tea, people!
Great blog.
Toilet waiter - hilarious.