Sing for the lonely, Music for the masses

I don’t believe in awards. Not since CNN reported that Puffy Combs, who is the musical equivalent of a flying toilet, had won a Grammy. But then there is reason to reconsider this stance.

If you are ever walking down the street with your walkman on, and it is tuned to CBSfm, and it is raining cats and dogs, you will notice something very strange occur if Beera Nange comes through the speakers. You will notice that you suddenly cease to be cold and wet and miserable. In fact, you will suddenly feel warm and happy. Your initial assumption will be that what you feel is the result of inner joy swelling forth in your breast. That is the first and most rational explanation. What you don’t realise is that what is happening is actually THE RAIN FALLING AWAY FROM YOU!
I am not lying. This song is so good that when you are listening to it the rain just swerves in the air and finds a way of falling somewhere else.


Secondly, according to a Reuters report, scientists in Geneva are trying to find a way of converting Irene Namubiru’s new song Nkuweeki into a form that can be contained in a nuclear bomb device. They believe that once they achieve this, they will be able to move on to Operation Final Decision, which will involve taking the nuclear bomb and dropping it in Kashmir, the Middle East, and all the war-torn regions in the world. Once the bomb detonates it will release megatons of Namubiru’s voice onto the combatants, and they will instantly lose the will to fight. They will be seized with the absolute beauty of that song and instantly forswear their battles, and thus shall we achieve world peace. In lab tests psychotic rats, after being exposed to doses of this song, have been found to develop the urge to plant flowers and paint watercolour rainbows and stuff like that. Peace is no longer just a dream.

I would like to urge you all to vote for these two songs in all PAM award categories. Every single one.
If you are not in Uganda or maybe have not heard the songs, don’t worry. Just vote somehow. In our country voting doesn’t have to stick to the rules.