Coming back from the Congo: The reason why
It was while under the impression that I was getting in touch with an official from the Ugandan government that I ended up receiving this phone call, which is what made me finally decide to leave Laurent’s land and return to my native Uganda. It was my duty. I had to save my country. Cos I am that sort of a guy, the Jack Bauer type.
WKB: Is this Baz, deadly ninja, lethal marksman and generally unstoppable ass-kicker?
Baz: It is I. Better recognise.
WKB: Great. I’m glad we caught you when you were still in the Congo.
Baz: Is this the gentleman from the Uganda government?
WKB: Not yet.
Baz: I beg your pardon?
WKB: This is Kizza Besigye. I have this organisation called the PRA based in the DRC, and we think it would be totally cool if you could, like, join us.
Baz: Warren, I am flattered that you should ask me, but I am sorry. I retired from the music business…
WKB: No, no. PRA is not a Lingala band—it is an insurgent group. It is an armed revolution—
Baz: You mean rebels?
WKB: I personally don’t like to think of us as rebels. I like to think of us more as liberators.
Baz: Warren, the last time we asked you, you said you don’t do those things of rebels.
WKB: I lied. Dude, let’s not quibble over those days. Let us talk about our future together.
Baz: Warren…
WKB: I mean you and us, the PRA. Get your mind out of the gutter.
Baz: I have to give you an absolute and final No Can Do on that one, sorry. I am a loyal and law-abiding citizen. I cannot participate in armed and extra-legal opposition to the government of the Republic of Uganda. Perhaps you should ask my buddy Mataachi.
WKB: Law-abiding? Baz, you are in the Congo hiding from the cops because you contracted a hitman!
Baz: First of all, it will soon come to light that that was not a real hitman, but rather it was a prank pulled by that devious Sidney, which means I just thought I was breaking the law, but in reality was not: my record is as pure as the driven snow. Secondly, resolving a small workplace dispute is different from plunging the entire country into the chaos and turmoil of a civil war!
WKB: Blah blah blah Yadda yadda. Since when? You know what I think, Baz? I think you’re chicken.
Baz: Fuck you. Come over here and call me chicken to my face.
WKB: No, way, dude. I might get bird flu, hanging with such a CHICKEN!
Baz: Quit calling me chicken. Your momma’s a chicken.
WKB: Chickie chickie chicken! Chicken-baz! Chicken-baz!
Baz: Warren, I swear, cut that out. I am not chicken.
WKB: Then prove it. Join PRA.
Baz: What do you think I am, seven years old? You think I am going to engage in illegal insurgent activity just to prove to your crusty ass that I am not chicken?
WKB: Who are you calling crusty, you chicken? Take that back before I come back to eastern Africa and beat you into chicken paste.
Baz: I shall not continue with this puerile schoolboy behaviour, Warren. In fact, you should stay put, because I shall be returning to Uganda presently, and the moment I get there, I am telling them about this little club your severely crusty ass is organising!
WKB: Listen, you impertinent little turd, I am a colonel. I served in war! I have been wild in the killing fields, I trod shit in Luweero! And I am coming to get you!
Baz: Come on back. We’ll only arrest your crusty, insurgent-recruiting ass the moment you get off the plane!
The rest you know.
WKB: Is this Baz, deadly ninja, lethal marksman and generally unstoppable ass-kicker?
Baz: It is I. Better recognise.
WKB: Great. I’m glad we caught you when you were still in the Congo.
Baz: Is this the gentleman from the Uganda government?
WKB: Not yet.
Baz: I beg your pardon?
WKB: This is Kizza Besigye. I have this organisation called the PRA based in the DRC, and we think it would be totally cool if you could, like, join us.
Baz: Warren, I am flattered that you should ask me, but I am sorry. I retired from the music business…
WKB: No, no. PRA is not a Lingala band—it is an insurgent group. It is an armed revolution—
Baz: You mean rebels?
WKB: I personally don’t like to think of us as rebels. I like to think of us more as liberators.
Baz: Warren, the last time we asked you, you said you don’t do those things of rebels.
WKB: I lied. Dude, let’s not quibble over those days. Let us talk about our future together.
Baz: Warren…
WKB: I mean you and us, the PRA. Get your mind out of the gutter.
Baz: I have to give you an absolute and final No Can Do on that one, sorry. I am a loyal and law-abiding citizen. I cannot participate in armed and extra-legal opposition to the government of the Republic of Uganda. Perhaps you should ask my buddy Mataachi.
WKB: Law-abiding? Baz, you are in the Congo hiding from the cops because you contracted a hitman!
Baz: First of all, it will soon come to light that that was not a real hitman, but rather it was a prank pulled by that devious Sidney, which means I just thought I was breaking the law, but in reality was not: my record is as pure as the driven snow. Secondly, resolving a small workplace dispute is different from plunging the entire country into the chaos and turmoil of a civil war!
WKB: Blah blah blah Yadda yadda. Since when? You know what I think, Baz? I think you’re chicken.
Baz: Fuck you. Come over here and call me chicken to my face.
WKB: No, way, dude. I might get bird flu, hanging with such a CHICKEN!
Baz: Quit calling me chicken. Your momma’s a chicken.
WKB: Chickie chickie chicken! Chicken-baz! Chicken-baz!
Baz: Warren, I swear, cut that out. I am not chicken.
WKB: Then prove it. Join PRA.
Baz: What do you think I am, seven years old? You think I am going to engage in illegal insurgent activity just to prove to your crusty ass that I am not chicken?
WKB: Who are you calling crusty, you chicken? Take that back before I come back to eastern Africa and beat you into chicken paste.
Baz: I shall not continue with this puerile schoolboy behaviour, Warren. In fact, you should stay put, because I shall be returning to Uganda presently, and the moment I get there, I am telling them about this little club your severely crusty ass is organising!
WKB: Listen, you impertinent little turd, I am a colonel. I served in war! I have been wild in the killing fields, I trod shit in Luweero! And I am coming to get you!
Baz: Come on back. We’ll only arrest your crusty, insurgent-recruiting ass the moment you get off the plane!
The rest you know.
Warren G. Not to be confused with Warren Kizza Besigye, Col (Rtd)
Comments
1.its sex with malinda
2. you and james banda fighting over who is to have sex with malinda
3.you in all matrix kinda positions having sex with malinda
Peanuts, I never really thought about it: how did they have sex in the Matrix? The machines needed new bodies, but if the bodies are in pods, how did they reproduce?