Police Arrest Hot Girls
Story in the New Vision. With Scandalous Pictures!
CONCERNED CITIZEN: Hello? Police? Emergency! Emergency! Come quick, they are right outside!
112 EMERGENCY OPERATOR: Calm down ma’am. What is going on? Is anyone trying to hurt you?
CONCERNED CITIZEN: There’s a gang of criminals in Wandegeya! Come quick!112
EMERGENCY OPERATOR: What are they doing? Are they badass bank robbers like Latifah in Set It Off?
CONCERNED CITIZEN: No, not exactly…
112 EMERGENCY OPERATOR: Are they wielding guns like Andie Macdowell in Bad Girls?
CONCERNED CITIZEN: I didn’t watch that movie, but they don’t have guns.
112 EMERGENCY OPERATOR: Don’t worry. I am the only one who watched that movie, it seems. What are they doing?
CONCERNED CITIZEN: They are committing sexiness! Help us! We are being attracted!
112 EMERGENCY OPERATOR: Don’t worry ma’am. We’ll be right there. (OPERATOR SPEAKS INTO INTERCOM) Attention all units. We have a code red 124 in progress at Wandegeya roundabout. Civilians at risk.
COP IN THE FIELD: Dispatch, this is Detective Rosco. I’m in Kalerwe right now. I can be in Wandegeya in two minutes.
112 EMERGENCY OPERATOR: What are you waiting for detective? Drop that donut and move it! Hurry, before innocent people get hurt!
SIRENS: Wooowooowooowoo!ThefuckoutofthewaymanWoooowooowooowoo!
COP FROM THE FIELD TO OTHER COP ON THE SCENE: (FLASHING BADGE) Detective Roscoe, sexiness squad. What do we have here?
OTHER COP ON THE SCENE: Good thing you’re here, Detective. I was just about to call for backup. You got here just in time. It’s a gang of women committing a 124—premeditated public sexiness.
ROSCO: How bad is it?
OTHER COP ON THE SCENE. HE IS A SERGEANT: See for yourself. They are wearing hot pants and… and tank tops!
ROSCO: Oh no. It’s a code red with lethal apparel. Cover me. I’m going in.
SERGEANT: Detective, no. It’s too dangerous.
ROSCO: Sergeant, somebody’s got to protect the citizens from those tank tops. Cover me. That’s an order.
ROSCO (ON MEGAPHONE): Attention criminals! This is the police. We have you surrounded. Drop your weapons and surrender… No! Don’t drop your hot pants! Keep your weapons in place and surrender.
LUMUMBISTS WHO HAD GATHERED: Boo! Let them drop the weapons!
ROSCO: Step aside creeps, or I will have you taken in for aiding and abetting.
ONE OF THE CHICKS: You’ll never take us alive copper!
ANOTHER ONE OF THE CHICKS: Yeah! We have curves and we are not afraid to use ‘em!
ROSCO: Sergeant, it looks like we are dealing with a gang of hardened sexiness criminals. Call in the SWAT Team.
(SWAT team rolls in. There is a scuffle. One SWAT team member is seen asking one of the chicks for her phone number.)
SWAT LEADER: Man down! Man down!
Scuffle continues. The girls are subdued.
ROSCO: We got ‘em. Cover them all with busutis. That’s the end of the deadly dozen! We have all twelve of them in custody.SERGEANT: Um, detective, did you say, dozen?
ROSCO: Yeah. The dirty dozen, the red pants gang, the provocative posse, the skimpy squad, the titillating team….
SERGEANT: We only have eleven girls here, detective.
ROSCO: Oh no! The ringleader has escaped! To form another gang and strike again when we least expect it??
Stay tuned for the next episode
Story in the New Vision. With Scandalous Pictures!
THE Police yesterday arrested 11 skimpily-dressed girls who were
advertising a new radio station, Hot 1009 FM, at the Wandegeya junction. Clad in
body-hugging red-hot pants and navel-exposing tank tops, the girls were armed
with brochures and posters, some of which they seductively tucked in their
pants. The girls’ arrest followed enormous complaints from members of the public
about their attire that was perceived as indecent, Wandegeya CID chief Rashid
Obbo, who ordered their arrest, said yesterday.
CONCERNED CITIZEN: Hello? Police? Emergency! Emergency! Come quick, they are right outside!
112 EMERGENCY OPERATOR: Calm down ma’am. What is going on? Is anyone trying to hurt you?
CONCERNED CITIZEN: There’s a gang of criminals in Wandegeya! Come quick!112
EMERGENCY OPERATOR: What are they doing? Are they badass bank robbers like Latifah in Set It Off?
CONCERNED CITIZEN: No, not exactly…
112 EMERGENCY OPERATOR: Are they wielding guns like Andie Macdowell in Bad Girls?
CONCERNED CITIZEN: I didn’t watch that movie, but they don’t have guns.
112 EMERGENCY OPERATOR: Don’t worry. I am the only one who watched that movie, it seems. What are they doing?
CONCERNED CITIZEN: They are committing sexiness! Help us! We are being attracted!
112 EMERGENCY OPERATOR: Don’t worry ma’am. We’ll be right there. (OPERATOR SPEAKS INTO INTERCOM) Attention all units. We have a code red 124 in progress at Wandegeya roundabout. Civilians at risk.
COP IN THE FIELD: Dispatch, this is Detective Rosco. I’m in Kalerwe right now. I can be in Wandegeya in two minutes.
112 EMERGENCY OPERATOR: What are you waiting for detective? Drop that donut and move it! Hurry, before innocent people get hurt!
SIRENS: Wooowooowooowoo!ThefuckoutofthewaymanWoooowooowooowoo!
COP FROM THE FIELD TO OTHER COP ON THE SCENE: (FLASHING BADGE) Detective Roscoe, sexiness squad. What do we have here?
OTHER COP ON THE SCENE: Good thing you’re here, Detective. I was just about to call for backup. You got here just in time. It’s a gang of women committing a 124—premeditated public sexiness.
ROSCO: How bad is it?
OTHER COP ON THE SCENE. HE IS A SERGEANT: See for yourself. They are wearing hot pants and… and tank tops!
ROSCO: Oh no. It’s a code red with lethal apparel. Cover me. I’m going in.
SERGEANT: Detective, no. It’s too dangerous.
ROSCO: Sergeant, somebody’s got to protect the citizens from those tank tops. Cover me. That’s an order.
ROSCO (ON MEGAPHONE): Attention criminals! This is the police. We have you surrounded. Drop your weapons and surrender… No! Don’t drop your hot pants! Keep your weapons in place and surrender.
LUMUMBISTS WHO HAD GATHERED: Boo! Let them drop the weapons!
ROSCO: Step aside creeps, or I will have you taken in for aiding and abetting.
ONE OF THE CHICKS: You’ll never take us alive copper!
ANOTHER ONE OF THE CHICKS: Yeah! We have curves and we are not afraid to use ‘em!
ROSCO: Sergeant, it looks like we are dealing with a gang of hardened sexiness criminals. Call in the SWAT Team.
(SWAT team rolls in. There is a scuffle. One SWAT team member is seen asking one of the chicks for her phone number.)
SWAT LEADER: Man down! Man down!
Scuffle continues. The girls are subdued.
ROSCO: We got ‘em. Cover them all with busutis. That’s the end of the deadly dozen! We have all twelve of them in custody.SERGEANT: Um, detective, did you say, dozen?
ROSCO: Yeah. The dirty dozen, the red pants gang, the provocative posse, the skimpy squad, the titillating team….
SERGEANT: We only have eleven girls here, detective.
ROSCO: Oh no! The ringleader has escaped! To form another gang and strike again when we least expect it??
Stay tuned for the next episode
Comments
"Yeah! We have curves and we are not afraid to use ‘em!"
Hilarious stuff.